When I was growing up in the suburbs of Cleveland, the words "German bakery" -- like "Chinese laundry," "Italian barbershop," "Jewish law firm," or "Thai massage parlor" -- were synonymous with expertise. My many years in Germany have strengthened my conviction: Jawohl, when it comes to baking, the Germans are upper crust.

Their products not only taste great -- there's a great selection too! Germany has about 1,200 kinds of small baked goods, from Apfeltasche to Zwetschgenplatz (my favorite is in mid-alphabet: Mohnkuchen). There are more than 300 varieties of bread, which is generally thick, dark and rich, and often made with whole meal. This is serious bread, pardner, not the long, silly white stuff the Frenchies love to eat.

Getting together over Kaffee und Kuchen is as German as, well, Apfelstrudel. The typical German supper (known as Abendbrot, or "evening bread") consists mainly of bread and cold cuts. All in all, the country's per capita consumption of bread, buns, small pastries, etc. is a carb-crazy 87 kilograms (about 192 pounds) annually, and rising.

But life isn't all gingerbread for Germany's master bakers these days. According to the Berlin-based German Baking Federation, the number of bakeries has fallen from more than 55,000 in West Germany during the 1950s to about 16,000 in all of Germany today. Traditional bakeries, combining start-to-finish baking with a shop on the premises, are being crowded out by discount giants. The discounters' plants mass-produce a relatively small range of pre-mixed, partly baked or unbaked frozen dough pieces that are baked off in self-service sales outlets or supermarkets.

Germany's recent economic slump has helped the outlets to spread. Many fine stores -- specializing in things including hardware, stationery, seafood, and fashionable attire -- have closed and been replaced by "now" enterprises like Internet cafés, cell phone shops, tattoo and piercing studios -- and bakery outlets. Yet another outlet opened several days ago near our apartment.

So there you have a picture of the modern German: munching a cheap roll in an Internet café, a cell phone on an ear, a tattoo on an arm, and a piercing ring God knows where.